Nesting to transition the family through divorce

On Behalf of | Dec 8, 2022 | Divorce

For divorcing parents, your primary concern is your children. In fact, you may have put off the divorce initially for your children, but now that you have both made the decision to part ways, you both want to figure out ways to mitigate the divorce’s impact on your children. One such way that psychologists are encouraging parents to explore is nesting.

What is it?

Nesting has actually been around for a few decades, but it has become much more popular recently. Nesting flips the traditional divorce dynamic where you shuttle the kids back and forth, and instead, the parents shuttle back and forth. For a predetermined amount of time (usually a few months to a year), you keep your child’s life intact. They keep their same room, bed, cloths, everything. Throughout the divorce, the only change they see is that only one parent is there at a time. Their life remains the same.

Logistically

For the Delray Beach, Florida, parents, nesting offers a unique opportunity to continue to split expenses. Some nesters still share the same family home, but then switch out of a garage apartment or mother-in-law suite when it is not their parenting time. This maximizes expense savings.

Other nesters share a one-bedroom apartment that each lives in when they are not parenting. For wealthier nesters though, they start creating their new, single lives now, but they keep the family home intact to help their children transition through the divorce.

Benefits

Other than the potential cost savings nesters can receive, there are significant psychological benefits for their children. If done in conjunction with therapy, all of the negative psychological effects of divorce can be prevented or largely mitigated. How? In a word, stability.

In a traditional Delray Beach, Florida, divorce, the child’s life is completely uprooted within a few short days. They lose their family structure, their room, their home and often, their school, friends and social network. It is extremely traumatic, in addition to dealing with the divorce itself.

For nesters though, the children can simply deal with the divorce, and use the nesting process to transition to acceptance. If done right and with the help of a mental health professional, parents and children can have much more positive outcomes than a traditional separation and divorce.

Not right for everyone

Of course, this is not for every Delray Beach, Florida, divorcing parent. If there are issues with abuse or just issues with civility, nesting may not be possible. However, for those parents willing to put their children first, nesting has many advantages.