Quiet quitting is not just for the workplace; it can happen in your marriage, too. It is a creeping and often unnoticeable change where a spouse starts doing only the bare minimum to avoid conflict.
This gradual withdrawal may stem from a buildup of issues in your marriage. Your spouse may not even realize what they are doing. If you are planning to work on your relationship, recognizing what quiet quitting looks like is a good start.
Clues your spouse may be quiet quitting
The term “quiet” suggests that the signs may be subtle. However, disengaged spouses tend to share some common behaviors:
- They prefer spending time away from you.
- They make plans or engage in activities that exclude you.
- They look for excuses to avoid physical or emotional intimacy.
- They do not check up on you.
- They do not argue back or challenge you on anything.
- They treat your marriage more like a business arrangement than a loving relationship.
Marriages do not always end dramatically. Many spouses drift apart silently and gradually. Is this what’s happening to yours?
Just as employees start quiet quitting due to burnout or lack of recognition, your spouse may be subtly checking out of the marriage after repeatedly feeling neglected, insulted or let down.
Deciding to seek help or to let go
Repairing your marriage calls for honesty and vulnerability. It will take some work. Reflecting on your shared history could help you discover what went wrong and if a future together is still realistically possible.
If your efforts to rebuild a connection are met with indifference, that may indicate a deeper problem. Counseling could allow you to understand each other’s needs better and work towards a resolution, whether that’s staying together or going your separate ways.
Should your partner feel strongly about a future that does not necessarily include you, it may be wise to start prioritizing your own happiness. If ending your marriage seems imminent, consider talking to a divorce attorney for guidance on your next steps.